Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich - Little Phoenix

A meter-tall mountain of documents filled 3 office desks. The entire room was stuffy and unbearable. A little lass and her 2 helpers were busy working while moving between the desks.

The overly tall mountain of documents made it so that no silhouette of anyone could be seen, only the sounds of screaming, footsteps and the scribbling of pen on paper could be heard. This was my first impression when I walked into the office of the City Lord.

On one side of the wall, bamboo swords, take-copter, gomoku and many different types of toys were scattered over the floor with a thick layer of dust over them. Looks like Adam hasn’t been in this room for a while.

Truthfully, to be capable of turning the office into a game room, he was truly unlike any other city lord.

Annie was 1.7m and considered pretty tall for females using human standards. But right now, she resembled a Dwarf student stuck in front of a desk. Looking from the front, only the documents and books were visible.

Thick black circles were under her eyes. Being fully engaged in her fight with the sea of documents, she hadn’t even noticed my arrival.

Walking inside, I signaled to stop the helper from calling out to Annie and picked up a few random documents to take a look.

‘The Proposal for the Reparations of the Municipal Facilities that were Destroyed During the Chaos in the 7th to 9th Street’, ‘3 Proposals to Finish the Drainage System Before the Rainy Season’ and ‘The Settlement of the 4 New Tribes in the City’

“Lord Wumianzhe, this is Lord Margaret’s will. All of the B-class and above files of the Internal Affairs Bureau are to be looked through by Miss Annie to give her opinion on the matter before passing to Lord Margaret. Then, it will be passed back to Miss Annie to look through the changes before going through with it.”

That was to say, every file, before any documents were finalized and before any actions could be carried out, Annie had to deal with it once before Margaret gave her own opinion on how the matter should be dealt with. Then, it was passed to Annie for her to finalize the decision, so she had to look through it twice.

This was literally teaching her step by step. I silently sighed. Looks like Margaret really decided to wash her hands clean of this, that’s why she’s using this kind of ‘fill up the holes’ kind of teaching method. She was hoping that Annie could quickly grow to be capable of independently dealing with governance.

“Is that how your Internal Affairs Bureau works? All of the documents must be personally looked over and signed by Margaret? Individually dealing with all of the governance tasks?”

After receiving the other party’s answer as though it was something natural, I looked at the incredible mountain of documents and couldn’t help clicking my tongue in amazement. The entire population of Sulfur Mountain City was near 3 million. Just thinking about it and you would know that there was an astronomical amount of work to deal with, but to look over each and every one of it? I could finally understand why Margaret rarely came out. It was fortunate that Margaret was an immortal who basically needed no sleep. But…

“This kind of method to deal with matters of governance is too primitive. It’s just like how ancient kings used only their own wisdom and knowledge to make judgement. An immortal who doesn’t need rest and can forever remain rational can perhaps achieve it, but for humans…”

The mountain of files here might merely be accumulation from a day or two. If we were to leave everything for the city lord to handle, she will probably have zero free time.

My job was to create a qualified city lord and not a lunatic who was crushed by work. Thus, I coughed lightly to signal my presence to the city lord trainee.

“Annie, do you know what the essence of governance is?”

—————–

What was the essence of governance? To make everyone content with life and work? To try and convert the city into an utopia? To let all the race and tribes live harmoniously?

No, no, it was not that complicated. Governance was just working within a fixed system, ideals and other things couldn’t be achieved through simply governance means.

But governance wasn’t that easy as well. A gap in the administrative organs could result in the workings of the city to stop and an overly inefficient governing body would result in great discontent against the government. It was indeed an existence that no city could go without.

“As the city lord, I… I will try my best to make everyone happy.”

“Don’t think too much with that small brain of yours. I’m just asking you the essence of governance. … Forget it, I’ll just tell you directly. But first you really need a rest right now.”

I pulled the lass to one side and indicated the helpers to bring some tea over.

The lass’s face was a little sunken in without a hint of liveliness, the fiery red hair lost much of the luster it used to have. She seemed to be avoiding my gaze, afraid that I would reprimand her.

Shaking my head, I could roughly guess what had happened. Margaret was an impatient perfectionist who would always entrust tasks to her subordinates according to her own abilities.

‘If I can do it, why can’t you’, ‘Don’t tried to reason with me, hypothetical situations are meaningless’, theoe kinds of saying were her catchphrases. But in reality, as a Saint that was recognized as the ‘Mobile Library’, coupled with her identity as an immortal who had no limits to her stamina, how could ordinary people keep up with her pace…

As Adam’s disciple, Annie’s combat talent and her physical body were excellent, but as for intelligence… For a pure warrior, intelligence could be said to be the most useless stat. Adam that rascal only had 9 points in his intelligence. (the intelligence here refers to the main stat of a Mage, normal people had 10 points. After reaching adulthood and therefore their full potential, it is VERY hard in this novel to further increase their stats) Nevertheless he still got by day to day happily. According to my system, Annie possessed 11 points in intelligence, making her much better than her dumb father. However this was ways off Margaret’s 26 points of intelligence standard of learning… Annie would be driven mad by just learning at the standards of someone with 13 point, needless to say 26.

Somehow, I seemed unsurprised how the Internal Affairs Bureau had ended up being Margaret’s personal organization. She probably couldn’t stand those ‘intelligence-lacking’ ‘inefficient and slow’ subordinates of hers, thus she took over the burden of doing everything. In the end, she got used to it and decided to just do it all by herself.

This kind of person would probably be considered a sage king in ancient times. But their fatal flaw was that it was difficult for their successor to cope. After all, you can’t expect the son and grandson of a sage king to be an indefatigable and wise sage king as well.

“As expected of an immortal, to think that this kind of workload wouldn’t tire her to death. Annie, don’t take Margaret’s scolding to heart. Her way of teaching really isn’t reliable. In the past, Elisa and Kale almost got played to death by her, and those two are Mages.”

Hearing this, the young lady started to whimper and instead, shook her head vehemently.

“Big Sister Margaret didn’t scold me, she was just very disappointed. Annie feels useless, Annie’s really useless. Annie doesn’t have the confidence to become a good city lord anymore.”

The tears of the young lady fell down drop by drop onto the floor. Looks like Margaret’s cold gaze when she’s disappointment and her action of walking away silently while shaking her head afterwards had left a deep wound in Annie’s heart.

This kind of silent resignation, this kind of disappointment that came straight from the heart, it hurt the other party even more than any other sharp-edged sarcasm could, resulting in the other party starting to doubt their own capabilities and intelligence…

Why was I so clear of that? In the past, when her lessons weren’t going as ideal as I’d hoped, Elisa would be very depressed over it and even secretly use me to vent her frustration… Although I was the first one to use that technique to hurt Margaret. Hmph, blame it on her lack of skills in chess, acting so smug despite being so inflexible in her thinking.

Alright, you needed to find the one who tied the knot to solve the knot. I finally comprehended why Margaret told me why I had to come visit Annie today. She must have been subconsciously aware that she used that technique to drive Annie to tears, but had no idea how to resolve the situation.

“Haaaa, stop crying, let Uncle Bones teach you. Actually, Margaret’s way of doing things is a mistake by itself. It’s normal that you aren’t able to do it her way. On the other hand, it would be troublesome if you really end up doing it her own.”

Annie’s eyes widened, her eyes spelling incomprehension.

“Actually, governance isn’t that complicated. Its essence is just to solve problems. That’s right, governance is just a means to solve troubles and problems.”

Yes, governance is just the act of solving problems and the Internal Affairs Bureau was an organization catered specially to solving those problems.

‘This job isn’t within the range of job scope, please direct it to our superior to deal with it.’ = ‘Bro, this trouble is too big for us to deal with, talk to our boss instead’.

‘This plan should be carried out, but the cost involved is too high and we are unable to fulfil the requirements currently, so it’s placed on hold temporarily.’ = ‘Bro, what you said is excellent and we want to do it too. But, our treasury doesn’t have any money so just leave it for now’.

‘We understand your difficulties but this job concerns the privacy of others, so it isn’t convenient for our department to intervene. Please settle it internally’ = ‘Idiot, don’t waste my manpower. It’s such a small matter, so deal with it yourself’.

What was the point of saying it so complicated and kind, the main goal of every governance was to settle the problems and troubles that turned up in daily life, allowing most of the population to lead stable lives… The book I personally wrote «The Art of Language, Step-By-Step Guide to Deal with Complaints and Resolve Arguments (Also known as The True Meaning Behind Official Dialect Manual)» had been well-received and it significantly improved the governing efficiency of the judiciary. The citizens interviewed even said that ‘Even though I didn’t understand what they were saying, but it sounded impressive. It feels like my opinions were respected.’, but the side effect to that was that people were shooting me weird gazes and I even saw people flipping through the book while listening to me talk…

“In reality, you all have underestimated Adam, that 9 point intelligence dumbass. Actually, in my eyes, I find him to be an excellent city lord.”

Hearing that, Annie raised her head in shock with disbelief on her face. These days, she had heard countless complaints against her surrogate father.

“But… Everyone says that it is because of Big Sister Margaret helping out, that’s why he could become a good city lord. If he could take on more responsibilities, everyone’s job would be easier and life would be more…”

“Then Sulfur Mountain City would not be too far from its doomsday. Yes, he does depend of Margaret to deal with most of his governing affairs but even if Margaret wasn’t here, he could have gotten other people to deal with it for him, despite the lowered efficiency. His greatest strength was that he knew how to use others and trusted them. After handing over the responsibility to others, he won’t interfere and create trouble.”

“You are the future city lord, not the head of Internal Affairs Bureau. What you need to do is just find people who can solve the problems for you and dump it all on them, NOT solve everything by yourself.”

Annie seemed to be about to say something, but I interrupted her.

“Look, he entrusted affairs of the legal system to me, the Internal Affairs Bureau to Margaret and the troublesome civilian problems to the Public Council. No matter how you regard it, at least this city was the fastest developing one in the underground world and winners don’t have to be criticized. Besides, city lords also have their own responsibilities, and that ones are much more important than these boring matters on governance.”

“Responsibility of a city lord?”

“Yes, you might feel that Adam was obviously lazing around, but the citizens still respected him a lot. That was because he was fulfilling his main duty as the city lord.”

“Main duty of a city lord?” After savoring these words, she recalled the daily routine of her father and suddenly, sparks appeared in both her eyes and the young lady found her own shine again.

“Protecting everyone, right? So as to let everyone live peacefully in this chaotic underground world?”

I smiled and nodded my head.

“Yes, protecting everyone and be the one that leads them all into the future. Allowing everyone to be able to have good expectations for the future. This is the true job of a city lord. As for the other meddlesome affairs, find a few fellows with good heads and dump it on them. If they screw it up, just sack them and find someone to replace them. There is bound to be someone suitable.”

“In this chaotic underground world, military might is a must and you should be quite talented in this aspect, being Sulfur Mountain City, no, the entire underground world’s youngest quasi-legend.”

Hearing my words, Annie nodded her head forcefully after finally finding her strengths. In my eyes, it looked like a cute dog that was happy and satisfied after finally finding their own worth.

“Godfather says that I’m just a step away from Legend-rank. I could enter Legend-mid phase right after I accept the Phoenix Heart at the end of the inheritance. Afterwards, I should be able to attain Saint-rank within 30 years.”

“Wow. This speed is really inconceivable.” Even I am stunned by this astonishing speed. The average age of normal legends was past 100 and Annie wasn’t even 20 yet. I was also past 100 when I first managed to reach Saint-rank.

Only for her to be smiling so happily, she probably isn’t aware about what exactly the Phoenix Heart symbolized.

Shaking my head, I decided not to interfere as it was their family’s affair, I should not be the one to reveal such things. For now, my goal was only to complete the main storyline quest and groom Annie into a competent city lord…

“Un, in 2 days, follow me to the Underground Alliance. I will teach you all about how to handle the job of a city lord. ‘How to use the carrot-and-stick approach to maximize the gains in a negotiation’, well since it is an underground city, I’m afraid that I can only teach you about the stick.”

“Anyway, the goal of this trip will be to show off our might, so there will be many chances for you to strike out on the way. I will also be bringing the city’s biggest troublemakers such as the Beyar brothers, Stormeagle and my ‘special’ subordinates. You will just be responsible for maintaining a tough face on the surface and leave the rest to me. We’re going to play big and overturn the entire Underground Alliance.

Adam’s Soul Imprint was the Undying Phoenix, making him suited for long battles. As long as you were unable to kill him in a single go, he would absorb the damage and the Phoenix’s Cradle would become stronger and stronger before exploding in one go. It might be an inheritance but you might not be suited to his fighting style. I feel that you are more suited for an offensive style that suppresses the opponent right from the start. This requires battle experience, so give it your best in the fights with the Underground Alliance.”

She was indeed still like a little girl on the inside. She will need to tighten her will and do the governing affairs she hated with a crying face but when you start the topic of something she liked, she would immediately become very energetic and enthusiastic…

“Governance? This was simple, isn’t it just solving problems? Find a few merchants that are good at financing and let them do the accounting. Un, just create a new department in the Internal Affairs Bureau and call it the… Finance Department.

As for the building of public amenities, we can look for miners, architects and building companies. But, we must first strip them of their self-interest. Right, we could call it the Infrastructure Department.

Don’t follow Margaret’s footsteps, it’s too tiring. You just have to lay out the backbone and choose people who are suitable for the job. If they can’t do it well, just change the people on the job. To protect this city in the future, you will have to devote much of your attention into training. Hehe, I would like to hear of the heroics of the new generation of Red Lotus Hero in the future.

Don’t panic, you’re already ahead of that dumbass by a lot. The Adam back then was much more useless than you. He couldn’t be any sillier. The first time he tried to settle other people’s feud, he actually…”

Slowly, Annie, who had not slept for 2 days and just underwent a great fluctuation in emotions, actually fell asleep on me while listening to me speak.

Looking at the deeply asleep young lady who was snoring lightly, I couldn’t help but reminisce the past.

“Humans really are unique. Yesterday, she was still a snotty brat but in a turned of an eye, she’s already an adult.”

Back then, when Adam had brought Annie home, she had been so small but now, not mentioning that she had already physically matured, she was already intending to take on the heavy responsibilities that her elder left her with.

Seeing the black circles below Annie’s eyes, I felt a little resentment towards Margaret.

“Seriously, she let Adam to be so carefree yet treats Annie so strictly. Adam’s no better, Phoenix Heart, it is the heart of the Phoenix. Such a heavy responsibility, did you even consider if we could shoulder the truth?”

“Uncle Bones, Big Sister Margaret, Father…” Suddenly, the tears seeped out from the sleeping young lady as she called out our names.

“…Don’t go!! Don’t abandon Annie! Annie will be obedient.”

The nightmare made my outstretched hand stop in midair…

I never said that that I was leaving and even more so, Margaret and Adam never mentioned that the current city lord was going to die… But it looks like we underestimated this seemingly talkative and sloppy young lady.

It was after a long pause then did I carefully wiped away her tears and careseds her hair.

That apologetic mumble was something I couldn’t even hear clearly myself.

“I’m sorry, little Annie. Adults are all selfish… We are a bunch of selfish jerks.”

———–

But what I didn’t know was that in the City Lord Residence, 2 people were speaking the exact same words as me.

“I knew that Roland could solve the problem. Stop blaming yourself, Margaret. Little Annie’s actually much stronger than we think she is.”

“…”

“…Stop crying, Margaret. This isn’t like you. If you can’t bear to leave her, you still could choose to stay.”

That’s right, the one who was silently whimpering at the corner wasn’t Annie who was hurt unintentionally, but the one who asked for my help. Due to being too worried, she went against her principles of not listening in, the perpetually calm Saint Lord Margaret…

Hearing the words of the heartless man, a fire of anger started burning in the eyes of Margaret who still had tears on the side of her cheeks.

“You also could have chosen not to die! Then everything would be solved! You selfish bastard!” If looks could kill, Adam would have been pierced by thousands of arrows.

“…Yeah, who asked us to all be selfish adults. It’s just that we’re all apologetic to little Annie. Besides… hehe, don’t be worried about it so early.”

“You’re laughing? You…”

“Calm down, no matter what, I am still Annie’s father. There’s no reason why I wouldn’t know what she wants and needs the most. Hehe, relax, I have it all planned out. It will definitely be a happy ending, a happy happy ending.”

“I will believe you once more… but that is the last time!! You selfish bastard!” The Saint abandoned her image and grinded her teeth while roaring furiously.

1. Doraemon’s helicopter
2. A game which can basically described as connect 5. If you are unfamiliar imagine tic-tac-toe except you have a much bigger board and you win by linking 5
3. In Chinese mythology, the more damage/grievance etc. a phoenix goes through during its ‘cradle’ stage before its, the more magnificent and stronger it will be when reborn.