Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich - Step-By-Step Guide Teaching You How to Make Fake Goods

‘God Equipment, Eternal Night Scepter, the symbol of authority of the Undead. It was said to be an object Undead Emperor Yongye kept closely by his side and hidden within it was the reason for his overwhelming strength. However, it has never once appeared in history before.’ That was how the Eternal Night Scepter was introduced in the ‘Illustrations of God Equipment’ by the ‘Tower of Ten Thousand Magic’.

As the only Undead Emperor in recent times, the rise of the Emperor Yongye and his disappearance were equally mystifying. No one knew how he rose to power, and similarly, no one would have guessed he would be defeated at what many assumed to be the peak of his power. However, quite a few people reckoned that his sudden rise to power was most likely related to this God Equipment.

This God Equipment which has never appeared before on the stage of history has had its existence questioned. (By presenting the head of one who spread such blaphemy, one could claim 100 gold coins from the Xiluo Empire’s 7th Administrative Bureau) However there had been numerous Royal Guards and followers of his, me included in this midst, who had heard him mutter these words.

“You want to obtain my power and authority? If you want, I’ll let you have it. Go and find it, the object that I have put my everything into— Eternal Night Scepter of Authority.”

The Emperor’s wisdom was as deep and vast as the ocean. No one would have thought that the invincible Yongye army would fail. But he was the only one who had accounted for that possibility, the Soulfire that had burnt in his eyes allowed him to peer into the future. That seemingly ominous mumbling of his was actually his way of passing down his will for the future of the Empire, when he’s gone.

Ever since his disappearance (With me included in the midst, there’re still numerous high-tier Undead who refuse to believe that their invincible Emperor had fallen in battle), a rumour had been spreading like wildfire. ‘Only the owner of the Eternal Night Scepter can rise to become the successor of the Undead Emperor’ This had already become common knowledge among all intelligent Undead. If only there was really someone who obtained the scepter, then perhaps the Empire wouldn’t have ended up like that. The Emperor had already prepared the best future for the Undead Empire, but…

The foolish Undead Lords actually ignored the teachings of our Emperor. After his departure, they engaged in an internal strife for their own benefits. Despite not having any legitimacy, they had hoped to use violence to forcefully ascend to become the Undead Emperor of the new generation. In the end, the dream of forming a great Undead Empire burst and the invincible Yongye army ground itself down. Eventually, its remaining members formed the Xiluo Empire.

Due to this historical reason, even though the authority of Xiluo was split between 12 of its strongest Senators, it’s still considered an Empire. However, we won’t allow anyone within our midst to climb up to that seat. That seat of the Undead Emperor has been empty for over a century and it’s destined to remain empty until the owner of that scepter appears — The Keeper of History, the 7th Senator of Xiluo Empire, Spider Marquis, the Eternal Royal Guard of the Undead Emperor, Lionheart.

Cough, when I saw this ‘recognised work of history’ written by little Lionheart, my jaw immediately dropped. I really didn’t know how I should react to this. If I was still living; sweat, cold sweat, sweat profusely, sweat like a waterfall and Genghis Khan, I’m afraid none of it would be sufficient to explain my complicated emotions then.

From a certain perspective, the joke that I had made in bad humor had resulted in something way beyond my expectations. Today, in order to make this Underground World even more chaotic, I had prepared to realize the latter half of the joke with malice.

This Eternal Night Scepter was a meter-long black wooden scepter. It may seem like it was entirely made of wood, but in reality, its interior was filled with bone powder.

I’ve made the scepter personally and the blood rose carvings and ornaments on it were all according to my preference style. My companions back then would recognize it as my work with a single glance. The scepter even had the words ‘Eternal Night Scepter’, which I had written with Death Ice Mana, an attribute that was exclusive to me. Just the outer appearance itself screamed that it was a high-tier item but even so, it was still far from being enough.

“The first problem we have to settle is its origin. A treasure without an origin will cast doubts about its authenticity. Adam, sign this document with your Soul Imprint.”

Looking at the document, Adam, as the type of person who only feared that the world wasn’t chaotic enough, gave a hearty laugh and happily signed his name on it.

‘Adam Han’ The fire-like words that quietly burned on the paper were surprisingly cool. The Soul Imprint, which originated from the soul, was different for everyone. It was the symbol of the identity of a Legend-rank and was entirely impossible to forge.

The name that I wrote on the scepter with gray Death Ice Mana smelled heavily of death and ice. It was my Soul Imprint from when I had been Emperor Yongye, and thus, its presence added to the authenticity of the scepter.

What I wanted him to sign was a document entrusting the auction of this scepter to someone else. The one entrusted with the task would be the biggest auction house in the city where the Underground Alliance had been formed, Velkastance City.

At the very least, this document of authentication proved that the Eternal Night Scepter originated from the hands of Hero Adam Han. This strongly hinted that the origin of the God Equipment was legitimate and that it was the spoils of war Adam retrieved from Emperor Yongye. Adam was using his own reputation to ensure that the scepter was real!

When word spreads out, everyone will suspect that Adam had hidden the Eternal Night Scepter after defeating Emperor Yongye. If so, the Eternal Night Scepter was likely to be a real.

Cough, in any case, what was written on the document was indeed the truth. Adam did receive the scepter from me. However, you couldn’t blame me if you misunderstand the timing when he received the scepter…

After that, I grabbed onto the end of the scepter and infused magic into it. On the other hand, Adam grabbed onto the other end and infused his power into it as well. Then, with a twist, a pull, and a rotation…

Kacha

When the fire and ice mana collided with one another, an explosion immediately occurred and the scepter nearly broke into pieces. Countless cracks appeared on its surface and on one end, scars from being incinerated by flames could be seen while on the other end, a gray-black colour occurred from the corrosion and frost.

“Alright, this will be the damage marks from when the Emperor Yongye and the Red Lotus Hero fought. So, if there’s anything wrong with it, they can blame it on the damage it incurred during the battle.”

But it still looked a bit new, thus I threw it on the floor, jumped and stepped on it. Adam wanted to come over and ‘help’ as well, but I immediately kicked him away with my foot.

This rascal didn’t know how to control his strength properly and his strength was exceptional. If we let him play with the scepter, it would only break immediately. Then, wouldn’t what I’ve done before go to waste?

“Un, the scars of history on the scepter are still a little lacking, but it should suffice.” Seeing the scepter which was now full of dust and footprints, I nodded my head in satisfaction. It was no longer that brand new wooden scepter anymore. At this moment, it was obviously an ancient artifact which had undergone the trial of time.

Margaret went into deep thoughts and after hesitating for a moment, she spoke up.

“No matter how real it looks, but…”

“Yes, it’s still not enough.” Of course, I had been aware that it wasn’t enough. The Eich Continent had a different way of authenticating artifacts compared to that of my previous world. People did not just depend on their experience and knowledge to find flaws in the object. This was a world with true Gods and innumerable divination techniques. As such, faking an object wasn’t that easy.

However, I had also considered this problem from the very start. Both Adam and I had once attained the powers of a SemiGod, the most powerful form of existence below true Gods. Normal divination magic would be ineffective against. Even so, there were still a few powers that were rather troublesome.

The High Priest’s Revelation of God Spell allowed a person to pose questions to the God he served. If the God happened to be free (Even if a priest who was favored by the God used this art, the probability of success of was still less than 1%), they would answer your question. However, the answer was limited to only ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

Archmage’s Otherworldly Art of Truth summoned a Truth Spirit from another world, at which point, one was allowed to ask him questions. But the only answers it could give was merely ‘YES’ or ‘NO’.

There’s also the Witch’s Tarot Divination. It brought the user to the truth by reading the lines of fate. However, it could only answer with a ‘True’ or ‘False’…

From what I knew, those reliable divination techniques had a common problem. Putting aside the fact that they were usually ineffective, they could answer with ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Also, the shorter the question, the greater the possibility of one receiving an answer. After divining once, the person wouldn’t be able to divine again for a period of time.

This wasn’t a coincidence but a law of the world. The stronger a divination technique was, the closer it was to the truth of the world and thus, the stronger the restrictions on it. If you wished to obtain more intelligence, you would have to be prepared to sacrifice more in return to uncover the truth. At the same time, it made it likely for one to neglect the underlying truth behind the matter, especially with the huge costs involved in it.

Indeed, I could have paid a price and just like how I hid on the lines of fate, I could make divination techniques ineffective on the Eternal Night Scepter. But sometimes, being unable to find a problem with something would indicate that there was a problem with it. If divination couldn’t be used on it, it was likely there was something wrong with it. Then, the conclusion was clear, we needed to ensure that the divination techniques came up with the wrong conclusions.

Causing the 100% accurate divination techniques to come to a wrong conclusion seemed incredible? Hehe, sometimes, just because it’s correct doesn’t mean it’s true, and just because it’s true doesn’t mean it’s correct…

Since it could only provide answers with ‘yes’ or ‘no’, a two-dimensional answer, there were actually a lot of things we could do with it.

I deduced that there were 4 questions that people were likely to ask. Firstly, also the most important question that had to be asked, was this scepter the Eternal Scepter handmade by the Emperor Yongye… We didn’t have to play any tricks with this one, this scepter was definitely handmade by Emperor Yongye.

Then, the second most likely question to be asked was ‘Is the secrets of the Emperor Yongye hidden within?’.

This question was simple but of great importance. If there was no secret hidden within it, then the scepter was as good as a fake, regardless of its authenticity. I could personally assure you that this question will be asked over and over again.

Thus, I had already written a note with the word ‘secret’ on it…

Alright, I knew this seemed like a bad prank but it should be useful. After all, those dumb divination techniques will definitely be screaming ‘YES!’, ‘yes’, and ‘true’

The third, ‘Is there the secret to becoming the Emperor of the Xiluo Empire hidden in the scepter or is it useful against those Undead Lords?’

This question was asking whether the God Equipment had value in helping one rule over the Xiluo Empire… Alright, I wrote the little secrets of those Undead Lords and their little quirks within it, for example that the Queen of Bone Dragon Gria sang very awfully and snored in her sleep. If you took these little secrets and threatened them, if they were to give in to it, then naturally, it would be useful to your life in politics. Of course, the prerequisite was that you were able to avoid getting silenced first…

Based on my understanding of them, it was much more probable for one to head to a Human Empire and demand the Emperor to step down and pass the throne over to you than for those great evil beings to give in…

The fourth, ‘Is the secret related to why the Emperor Yongye was so powerful or related to great power’

Cough ‘Study hard every day and aim for greater heights. Fight hard against mobs and try your best to level up.’ This was definitely the truth behind Emperor Yongye’s strength. You could feel free to doubt that if you disagreed with it…

Alright, now that I had prepared all these methods and the issue behind the authenticity and importance of the Eternal Night Scepter had been resolved, the news of it would spread across the entire Underground World from the day that the auction received the good. It would draw the attention of all powers in the Underground World, even though no one will be able to use it… No, not only that, the Surface World will surely send people over as well. At the very least, those Senators from the Undead Xiluo Empire will all go into a frenzy for it… If the Undead Empire and the Underground City Lords were to suddenly get into a fight, then maybe the 2nd Calamity could somehow be avoided just like that.

Fine, I admit that I was being too positive, but trying couldn’t hurt.

“So, my first step to causing chaos in the Underground World has been achieved…”

Looking at this scepter, I still felt a little dissatisfied. I didn’t think that people would be able to tell that it was a fake. However, to the powerful experts, unreasonable intuition was sometime much more reliable than rational thinking, knowledge and experience. It was almost impossible to fool one’s intuition.

Thus, after hesitating for a moment, I said to Adam.

“Since I have already finished serving my sentence, return my Roland Sacred Sword to me.”

“Here.” Without a second word, the fiery red Adam removed the only different colour on him, the silver-white broken sword on his waist, and passed it over to me.

Standing beside him, Margaret was stunned. She seemed to have wanted to say something but the words didn’t come out.

“My phylactery, we haven’t seen each other in such a a long time.”

Yes, this was where my soul resided. As long as my phylactery wasn’t destroyed, I, as a Lich, would be indestructible. The phylactery could take on any shape; it could even be a book or a hat.

From the secret manual in the system’s Lottery, that otherworldly Uncle Tom once broke his soul into 7 parts and turned it into 7 phylacteries…

Even though it made the person difficult to kill like that, wasn’t he afraid of turning into a madman with personality disorder when he split his soul into so many pieces… Alright, perhaps he had already been crazy from the very start.

The phylactery of a prisoner was naturally left in the hands of the warden, Adam, and he brought it along with him everywhere. Of course, this rascal was still quite smart. At the very least, he wasn’t dumb enough to try using my phylactery to threaten and force me to play along with his games…

Touching this broken sword, I felt a little sentimental. The reason why I used this family heirloom to make my phylactery back then was because I shared a name with this Roland Sacred Sword. Also, this sword, dubbed as the ‘Indestructible Sword’, had survived a thousand years without a scratch on it. But now, under the tide of fate, our country had come to an end and this indestructible sword had been ‘destroyed’.

In this moment, with my phylactery in my hand, the gray-colored mana around me gradually expanded. The discomfort of being suppressed disappeared and I regained some of my strength.

“Legend-rank primary stage? If so, it will become easier to do a great deal of things.”

I rubbed at the broken edge of my sword and easily pinched out some metal fragments. The pulsation of a soul could be seen from the fragments.

Afterward, just like how one scattered sesame seeds on top of a biscuit, I scattered the fragments on the ‘Eternal Night Scepter’ before stroking it lightly. There was a flash of light and sparkling gems resembling stars appeared on the scepter.

The gems sparkled a brilliant silver radiance and starlight seemed to be hopping from one gem to the other, crossing each other. If you were to take a closer look, the starlight seemed to have a tempo of its own, as though it was a living being. After embedding the fragments of my soul into it, this Eternal Night Scepter gained its own soul and became alive.

However, different from the broken sword which held my soul, the person to wield this scepter would be affected by the words of my soul and his decisions would be influenced by me. After a period of time, his soul might even be corrupted by mine, causing him to become my slave… The situation seemed a little wrong, haven’t I retired from being a Demon King a long time ago? Alright, seems like some old habits accidentally…

Looking at the sight, Adam sucked in a breath of cold air. He might not have understood what I just did but he instinctively felt that this scepter had become extremely dangerous and that there was something eerie about it.

On the other hand, Margaret stared at me furiously. She could roughly tell what I had done and she was using her glare to express her displeasure. But her protest was ignored by me, as usual.

“Fine, seems like my habit kicked in again and I went a little overboard. But it has to be at least of this level for the Underground Autarchs, Undead Lords and all of those experts to desire it to the point of being willing to jump into the eye of the storm.”

Then, I opened my mouth and swallowed the broken sword. The broken sword didn’t fall through my body which consisted solely of bones. Rather, it disappeared completely.

I had transferred the broken sword to somewhere safe. Right now, it could be said that I had been finally released from my sentence.

“It’s said that the trip to the headquarters of the Underground Alliance Velkastance City should take around 2 months. We have to prepare in advance. Let Annie bring the team there. It’s about time for her to try standing on her own feet. After all, you can’t shelter her from the storm for her entire life. Don’t worry, I will follow along and operate in the shadows to protect her.”

After finishing my piece, I turned around to leave.

“Going to Velkastance should take 2 months? No, Master, you are talking about ancient times. There are 3 more routes now and they all are much faster.”

I glanced at the eager maid behind my back.

“Although I hold no expectation for your words, say your piece.”

“Going by normal carriage will indeed take 2, close to 3 months, but the advancement in technology has created a new and faster route. The first route only takes a second, the Dwarf’s Dimension Ripper Machine…

“…Isn’t that the teleportation portal of those suicidal Dwarves? Forget it, I don’t want to be stuck in another dimension. If you want to travel to other dimensions and become the queen of some Back Palace, go ahead on your own!”

“The second route will only take 3 days, the rocket car of the Goblins…”

“No, that will only take 1 second as well. After 1 second, I will be blasted to the heavens. Forget it, I can already guess what the final route will be like. You don’t have to tell me anymore.”

But the female head maid simply propped up her glasses and secretly laughed beneath her expressionless face as she followed behind her master, continuing on with what she was saying.

“3 hours, the Goblin rocket. It goes directly up and down and it is both convenient and fast…”

“How is this any different from the one you just mentioned? Oh, one has wheels and the other one doesn’t? Just how much do you want to kill me to obtain my wealth? I think I’ve treated you quite well to not deserve such a treatment!”

The departure of the unreliable master and his servant left the two SemiGods behind in deep thoughts.

“Annie, huh? Perhaps, what Roland said isn’t wrong. It is about time for her to give it a try. After all, at her age, we were already running around the world in our party.”

“I know that Annie should go out to gain more experience, but aren’t you afraid of plunging the world into chaos by setting Roland free?”

The Hero Adam laughed in response to the doubts of the Saint.

“You probably won’t believe me when I say this, but my intuition tells me that this world might come to an end anytime, and the only unknown factor is this Lich.”

Hearing this, Margaret’s face scrunched into displeasure. Then, with her eyebrows raised, her face changed into one of disdain.

“You sure believe in him, I…”

She wanted to say something in disdain but Adam’s straightforward gaze towards her prevented her from spouting any lies. In the end, she stomped her feet.

“Don’t look at me like this, you block of gay wood. I believe you, are you satisfied now? He might be a bastard but he is a cunning bastard. If he can’t do it, then nobody else in the world will be able to!”

1. It is supposed to be a pun. Genghis Khan has the character for ‘sweat’ in its Chinese name.
2. This yes and no was written in English, thus the caps.
3. The place where all the concubines of Ancient Chinese Emperors lived.