Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich - The Miraculous Alchemist
The Miraculous Alchemist
Her golden wavy hair emits the radiance of youth. Her light green Alchemist Robe is unable to conceal her proud contours that surpasses those of her age. Her face has traces of baby fats, giving it a natural dazed look. In contrast to that, the silver-rimmed spectacles on her face add a scholarly touch to her tone.
Although it is our first-time meeting, Olivia gives me a kind of nostalgic impression. Perhaps, it is due to the scholarly feeling that is similar to that of Elisa’s and Margaret’s, especially the silver-rimmed spectacles which is obviously serving as just an ornament.
How do I know that? Not mentioning how Elisa’s glasses are flat, in this instant, Olivia’s spectacles were lacking a lens. But not only did the girl herself not realize it, there were guests in front of her and yet she was still muttering under her lowered head about where her experiment went wrong.
Even when staring face-to-face with someone else, the eyes of the young lady is unfocused as her thoughts were in the skies, not even guarded against us in the least. There were food stains on her face and her entire living room is incredibly messy. The first impression that she gives is that she is a very messy person.
After roughly scanning the room, I can roughly understand why Kathleen wasn’t very fond of Olivia.
“So, it is a conflict due to them being of different levels.” The liveliness and youthfulness that Olivia emits, not to mention her proud and moving figure, gives the plain-looking robe an elegant aura whereas when the same robe is worn on Kathleen…
Having a slim and flat figure is advantageous for cavalry battles. How can someone with a voluptuous figure hold firmly onto their weapons in a battle? You all are born physically talented as a Knight. Un, next time I see Kathleen stare at the chest of a beautiful lady, I will make sure to console her like that.
Why you all? Alright, my page Reyne is also staring at her with hostility. Looking from the sides, she is even grinding her teeth.
“… So big, how could she be of the same age as me. Hmph, with such size, it will start sagging sooner or later.”
Alright, allow me to rationally ignore this mysterious cursing and turn the attention back to the main topic at hand.
“Cough, Miss Olivia, nice to meet you. I am Rolande.” Although I greeted her, I am unable to bring back her floating spirit.
“Could it be that I added the Magic Rock Oil too early? Then, I guess I should try adding some fusing reagent.”
“Hey, hey! Miss Olivia, do you hear me?”
Alright, the Alchemist starts to take out her pen and begins drawing and writing on a piece of paper, ignoring our presence.
“Since you want to play the game… Olivia! Big-breasted girl! The sun has risen! Lessons have started!”
Kathleen sneaks by Olivia’s side and screams into her ear. The echo of her voice lingers in the room for a few second, even I was stunned by it. Her resentment towards Olivia is really apparent. Only then did Olivia regain her senses.
“Ah, Teacher Dana, I am not dazing off, I am really listening attentively to your lesson!”
Alright, the ex-student immediately stands in an upright position after being alarmed from her junior shouting out her nickname. She seems to have forgotten that she was expelled from the school.
“Puu! Senior Olivia, did you think that it was still Teacher Dana’s herbology lesson? Rest easy, no one is punishing you this time. We are here for some private matters.”
“Little bamboo stick, stop calling my nickname. You scared me, I thought that teacher was raging at me again. I really don’t know why Teacher Dana is always targeting me.”
Alright, while Kathleen’s nickname is exposed, it turns out that ‘big-breasted girl’ is also a publicly-accepted title for Olivia such that even the teachers were using it. Exactly how deep is this grudge?
“Teacher Dana is still unwedded despite being advanced in age. When she finally found a boyfriend after much difficulty, her boyfriend dumped her due to small chests. Naturally, she would feel her temper rising when she sees you. Can you at least try to sympathize with her? Big-breasted girl.”
“Oh, no wonder she is always staring at my chests. I even wondered if she was just like those weird boys…”
“Cough, Alchemist Olivia, there is something I would like to talk to you about.”
Seeing how their chatter is getting more and more heated up, they have probably forgotten the existence of a male here. I try to interrupt their conversation but…
“… This smell, it should be a strong Troll Tonic. Why is it labeled as Hair-growing Reagent?”
Yingou retrieves a bottle from the shelves and questions her with a high-pitched voice. Putting his identity as a Gold-rank Alchemist on the line, regardless of whether it is the color or the smell, it is definitely a Troll Regeneration Tonic. It is impossible for it to be a Hair-growing Reagent.”
“Oh, that is still incomplete. I considered trying to localize the effect of the Troll Regeneration onto one’s hair so that no matter how stubborn the baldness is, hair would be able to grow out from one’s head. In the end… Wait, don’t drink it!”
To an Alchemist, trying one’s experimental product is the best way to understand its effects. Basing it on his outstanding resistance against such effects, Yingou opens the bottle cap and gulp gulp, he drinks it without any hesitation.
“Owehh.” Yingou clutches his stomach as he kneels down. Then, a pitch-black bunch of hair drops to the ground. So, it seems that he was wearing a wig all along…
He wasn’t trying to test the medicine in the first place, he was making use of this opportunity to fill up his flaws!
“Did the medicine fail? Will he be okay?”
“No, it is a success. It is just that there are some slight side effects.”
There is no need to ask anymore. The result before us has explained everything. Thick and long hair started growing out at a rapid pace from Yingou’s bald and shiny head. That Goblin was so excited that he started pouncing about delightfully. But, very quickly, the trouble came. The hair has already reached his feet and yet, it was still growing longer and longer.
“This conceptual design is a success but the problem lies in controlling the uncontainable regeneration ability of the Troll Tonic. That is to say, the growth cannot be stopped…”
In just a brief moment, Yingou has turned into a gigantic hairball and his entire body is filled with pitch-black hair. A round fur ball rolls around the floor, even his eyes and face disappears under the bulking mass of hair.
“Save me, I can’t breathe.”
He wanted to retrieve his own medicine in his clothes to save himself but he couldn’t even stretch out his hands. There was too much hair restricting his movement. Some were even invading his nose.
Alright, if we don’t start saving him now, he would suffocate to death from his own hair. That would be a hilarious cause of death.
I quickly withdraw my sword to sever the hair, but the severed part immediately regrows. This hair is even more troublesome to deal with than tentacle monsters. But, Olivia had an even better idea.
She had already run to her experiment lab by the side to retrieve three reagents. She expertly pours them into one bottle and tosses it into the sky. The fluids mix completely along with the dancing of the bottle midair. In a few short seconds, the final product took shape. Then, she throws it forcefully towards Yingou.
“Pah!”
As the antidote splashes onto him, the effects of the Troll Hair-growing Reagent dispel and his hair starts to fall off rapidly.
“I am saved. Phew.”
As his hair falls to the ground, Yingou sits paralyzed on the ground, thankful that he has survived this ordeal. But…
“Puu!”
“Haha, what is this? A chihuahua? An egg?”
Goblins look a little similar to cats and dogs and they have quite a bit of hair on their body as well. That’s why Dwarves often mock them as furry short-legged dogs. This is also why the effect of the reagent just now didn’t just cause the hair on his head to grow furiously, but the hair on his body as well.
Apparently, Olivia’s antidote is just as effective as her Hair-growing Reagent. If all of his hair were to drop off at the same time, then he would be as ugly as a bald dog would get. Furthermore, on that hairless head, even the eyebrows are missing. He looked completely like a white-cut chicken. He looks a little like the head of a hairless Fishmen, no wonder Reyne and the rest would be clutching their stomach, rolling on the ground from all the laughter.
TL: White Cut Chicken
“My… My hair, there were obviously 10 strands previously! It’s all gone! Big hair, second hair, number 3… little ten, you all died tragically. How can you all leave me here alone? How can I live on by myself?”
Alright, the bald Goblin bawls on the ground. His action of naming his 10 strands of hair is really…
“Puu!”
I’m sorry, I wanted to say depressing but looking at the tears flowing down that bald egg, I couldn’t hold it in. Please allow me to laugh by the side first.
Alright, back to the topic at hand. Yingou, who has suppressed himself to remain calm, starts to gauge the capabilities of his new disciple.
Disciple? As a new Gold-rank Alchemist, even the principal of the Alchemy Campus wasn’t up to his standards. Yingou only has to flash his identity, indicate his willingness to accept a disciple and show his approval for the rookie Alchemist’s talent for her, who was just expelled from school, for her pay respects to her new mentor on the spot.
At just 15 years old, Olivia is obviously still a rookie. Perhaps, she might hold great potential and many creative ideas are blooming in her head. However, her lack in understanding of basic theories would require her to grind her knowledge for at least a few more decades. Being at Bronze-rank, she might be considered outstanding among her peers. But, to a master Alchemist, she is an obvious novice. Being expelled from the Alchemy Campus has made her a laughingstock in this circle, causing her paths to further her studies has been cut. At this point, the future Miraculous Alchemist is just an innovative apprentice.
“Is this the medicine you made? This smell, it should be Savage Bull Tonic. Judging from its color, there is still room for improvement. What is the strength multiplier ratio?”
After suffering once, even the master Alchemist refuses to test her medicine anymore.
“I replaced the bull blood with the concentrated blood of a Tauren instead, increasing the effectiveness of the original drug by 30 times. If consumed, one’s strength could be increased by 3 times. However, the side effect is that the person will find horns and tails growing out from their body and they would randomly go into a Berserk state.”
I saw Yingou’s face twitched for a moment as his hands shook, causing him to almost drop the little bottle in his hands.
A normal Savage Bull Tonic would only increase one’s strength by 10%. That 300% multiplier along with the transmogrification effects is incredible. But, great returns come with a price. While their strength would explode in the short-term after consuming it, there is a high chance they would die after the effect wears off.”
“Have you tried it?”
“Un, I tried it on Little White. Ah, that is a dog that my family keeps. After consuming it, he knocked down a wall and it took him half a year to recuperate from that. Now, he thinks that he is a hellhound and often spits saliva at others (breath fire).”
“That green bottle… That is a natural recovery medicine right, but why would it be red in color?”
“Hehe, I added Dragon Mane Grass and Petrifying Lizard Reagent into it. It is one of my prized work. While healing one’s injuries, it will grant them the ability of Stone Skin, increasing their defense exponentially. For a bottle to have 2 different beneficial effects, it is one of the few successful products of mine.”
“The side effects?” Yingou wasn’t moved. He can already roughly tell that his disciple here is a little eccentric.
“That… I prepared a potion to undo the petrification and gave it out as a complimentary gift. I even wrote in the label ‘If you do not want to become a statue, please do not use this medicine when you are alone’. It is weird that I am still unable to sell it to anyone.”
It is entirely reasonable for you to be unable to sell it out. Who would dare to drink a potion that could cause one to turn into stone?
“This? Un? The smell of milk?”
“Oh, this is the Breast Enhancement Medicine that my juniors requested me to create. I managed to achieve my primary objective and this is also one of my few successful works.”
Hearing her words, Reyne’s eyes glitter. She is tempted to give it a try but looking at the bald head and the bunch of freakish medicines, she hesitated.
“… Don’t even think of it. This is one of the main culprits to why she was expelled from the school. This can indeed enhance one’s breast size. But, to maintain its effects, a bottle of milk must be drunk every hour. During that period of time, all of the milk around the campus were sold out and the scent of milk engulfed the entire campus.”
Hearing those words, Reyne hesitates once more. That side effect seems acceptable to her.
“There should be something else, right? She shouldn’t be expelled just because of this.”
Suddenly, Kathleen’s face reddens as she walks towards Reyne and whispers in her ear.
“… The milk can’t possibly be ingested continuously without being excreted. When it is accumulated past a certain extent, it would spill out explosively. Back then, this was how our Teacher Dana screwed up her blind date. Nowadays, she doesn’t even dare to meet others.”
Alright, even though she was whispered it softly, but the ears of those in this room were quite sharp. At the very least, I regret hearing those words.
The Miraculous Alchemist would only start to gain fame a decade later. Apparently, we came too early. The side effects of her completed products were much too strong compared to the original effects intended. However, a half-filled bucket has its own use. At least, she would be easy to coax.
In this era, the relationship between a teacher and a disciple isn’t that different from one between a parent and a child. Since Yingou is willing to accept her as his disciple, this relationship is much stronger than anything else. Alright, a certain line of heritage where murdering one’s teacher is a tradition serves an exception. At the very least, looking at the harmonious sight of the teacher and disciple duo, the kitten on my cat looks at me in resentment.
“Stop biting me, didn’t I get done in by my disciple as well?”
“Hmph, you deserved it. Besides, you actually still dare to mentor someone else, aren’t you afraid of the tradition working up once again?”
“That is two different matter. The reason why you got rid of your teacher was because your teacher attacked you, right? The reason why I got rid of you back then was because you had malicious intentions as well. You said that I was looking for it, but I think that you are the one who is reaping what you sow.”
“Hmph, forget it, let bygones be bygones. Just look, I think that this teacher and disciple duo does seem a bit like how we were back then.”
“I doubt so, I think Yingou would impart his knowledge seriously. He isn’t like some stingy Banshee who requires her apprentice to do some mission to please her just to teach him a spell.”
“No, I am talking about the point where the disciple will get rid of the teacher sooner or later. I mean, just look, didn’t she almost succeed already? Look at those things that she created. I bet that within three years, if the egghead doesn’t die of anger than he would have died from poison.”
Unsure of what was touched, after a cloud of red fog scatters, Olivia lowers her head apologetically while the old Goblin was on a verge of tears after losing his final strands of hair — eyelashes, and completes his evolution into a round egghead. Looking at the sight, I mutter to myself.
“I’m in. But not three years, I bet that he would be played to death within a year.”
“Then what the heck are we still betting for? Why don’t we bet whether he would die from anger or poisoning?”
“I think he would most probably be blown to death.” Recalling Yingou’s ‘noble title’ of being called the Alchemist of Explosion, if he were to impart all of his knowledge to the already dangerous Olivia…
“She is my future subordinate… Am I unknowingly digging a pit for me to fall into by creating a dangerous terrorist?”
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
