Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich - Xiluo and the Four Heavenly Kings

The Xiluo Empire was made up of the Xiluo Swamp, Karda Desert and Beyja Highlands. Its complicated terrain made it an easy territory to defend, but hard to launch an offense from… Actually, to be more precise and blunt, it was a horrendous place where the living were mostly unable to reside in.

The Great Death Swamp, the sparsely populated Great Desert and the Freezing Highlands, these were the 3 forbidden areas, forming a hell for the living and playground for the dead.

Not a lot of people knew that in this magical world, the harshness of nature wasn’t unbeatable. In the depths of the Great Swamp, there was a land where it was spring all year round, the grass and woods were dense and the scenery just like a painting. That was the capital of Xiluo Empire — Xiluo, the Kelar Administrative District.

Even this seemingly miraculous land was earned by paying a high price and investing a lot of time into it, the Soul Towers at the areas beside the capital were forever radiating with the light of souls and magic. In other times, it would have meant a death flood of white bones but now, it was just countless undead workers busy with work.

As long as it was an intelligent being, even if it was a high-tier undead who hated the living, they still retained their sense of aesthetics from when they were alive. No one liked it when their home was a pile of wreckage and dirty mud.

The immortal Undead never lacked time nor manpower. While the people of the world were sure it would be a sight of hell, somehow this place had already started to gradually change.

In Xiluo, there were nearly a million silver-rank and above intelligent Undead, 20 million living that served as servants and slaves and the number of low-tier Undead were completely immeasurable. The scenery in the city was breathtaking, it was well-equipped with all the basic infrastructure and transportation networks, consisting of underground pipes and floating crafts, they were extremely technologically advanced. If we only looked at the city’s scale and design, even Auland Capital which was known for its extravagance couldn’t compare to even half of Xiluo’s.

The sculptures by the road might just be certain country’s royalty heirlooms that had been passed down for thousands of years. All of it taken by the Undead Empire which had destroyed numerous kingdoms.

In one of the luxurious mansions within Xiluo City, the 7th Senator of the Empire, Spider Marquis Lionheart was currently dealing with matters of governance. As one of the strongest Death Knights in the Empire, he was the Commander of the Death Knights in name as well as their teacher. However, in the eyes of the people of the Empire, he was always dressed in loose clothing reminiscent of scholars and appearing as the image of a gentle and intelligent general.

But those familiar with him, would know that once this fellow got on the battlefield, he turned into a ferocious beast that couldn’t be controlled. Once he went against the orders of his superior and set up an inhuman record by traveling 2000km within 17 days to destroy an entire kingdom on his own. The so-called ‘Keeper of History’ and ‘The Polite Scholarly General’ could only be said to be his hobby and disguise away from the battlefield.

But today, this ‘Eternal Royal Guard of the Undead Emperor’, ‘Goes Mad the Moment He Gets On A War Chariot’, the ‘Irrational Undead War Chariot’ was inside his own residence and deeply in thought with two intelligence reports in hand. His dignified face hardened, as though he encountered an extremely difficult question.

“Lionheart, why are you looking so bitter? Have those long-ears in the West start to cause trouble? Or did the barbarians in the South go down their mountains? If it’s this kind of interesting stuff, then let big sister share your worries.”

A cold and lazy female voice could be heard from outside the residence. Despite it being a question, a strange sense of happiness and teasing could be felt within her tone, as though as she was getting excited from the thought of fighting.

“Lord Gray Sin, there was no fighting and please do not try to stir up war. I have told you countless times that the wariness the living have towards us has already reached the limit. For the Empire, a meaningless war isn’t a good thing.”

“Tsk, then why have you called me here today? You know that I am only interested in war. Or, could it be that the bunch of Liches of the Council are bored and looking for things to do? Or is it the diplomacy problem the last time. If so, you better go look for other Senators, I, as the 4th Senator, the Duchess of the Empire, Bone Dragon Queen Gray Sin am uninterested in those boring matters.”

Looking at just the outer appearance, she was a cold and tall female Elf, her long silver hair reached down all the way to her waist, her pale skin which had no traces of redness from blood had a bizarre kind of aesthetics to it and a long skirt that dragged all the way to the floor with the colours red and black intertwining on it. The most striking part of her appearance were her eyes, those inverted black-white eyes that seemed to be miniature black holes absorbing light. There seemed to be something there, yet nothing there.

Xiluo Empire’s structure was probably the weirdest one in the entire world. Despite being an Empire, it didn’t have an Emperor and all of the authority was split among the 12 Senators. There was also a Council of Dark Night which took care of everything inside the Empire but towards the 12 Senators, they only had the authority to suggest ideas…

Simply said, there was a bunch of Undead Lords (Senators) that were grasping all of the military might, which the Council of Dark Night wasn’t able to interfere with. Yet, the Senators also couldn’t do anything against the authority of the united Liches. So, without the Undead Emperor a the one with the highest authority, both parties could only tolerate the situation without interfering with each other, resulting in the formation of this weird structure.

Naturally, there were Senators that were close to the Council. In fact, the Head of the Council was none other than 2nd Senator Feyman. There were also quite a few other Senators who worked very closely with the Council. Still the debate to abolish the council was brought up every year. But as long as none wanted to start an internal war, then this suggestion was destined to never pass through.

Gray Sin and Lionheart were both Senators which weren’t close with the Council of Dark Night. In fact, while most of the Senators had set their eyes on the seat of the Emperor, they were the very few of the so called Royalty Faction who believed that there would come a day when Lord Yongye would return… This was a very idealistic notion that was welcomed by old soldiers from the time of the Emperor, but as it was unrealistic, it was unable to strike it big in the undead tribe which was getting more and more pragmatic. As time passed, more and more of their companions started to turn to other factions.

Not long ago, the Royalty Faction which was left with 4 Senators began to fracture again as one of the Four Heavenly Kings under the Emperor, Ghoul King Decars, turned to the Council Faction, striking a heavy blow to this small faction.

Wanting to be the Big Boss Faction (Most of the Senators), the Council Faction (The 2nd Senator leading the pack), the Idealistic Royalty Faction and the Living Life Casually Faction, these were probably the biggest factions in Xiluo Empire.

It might sound very complicated but if you were to compare it with the hundreds of factions in a Human Empire, in a country with more than 10 million intelligent beings, the situation with the undead could be called be very simple. Not to mention, most of the undead had already shouted out their goals directly ‘wait for the Emperor to return’, ‘the Council takes over the governance, I will be the leader’, ‘Ah Dang doesn’t have any opinion on who becomes the leader, Ah Dang only wants to eat’, ‘if I became the leader, I shall start another Undead Calamity’, these kinds of honest words would be considered inconceivable in the human society which liked to beat around the bush.

Right now, two of the leaders of the Royalty Faction had been meeting directly in the daylight. No doubt, rumours bound to be flying around right about now.

But in this instant, under Gray Sin’s questioning, Lionheart didn’t even raise his head and only threw out a sentence at her.

“There is news on the Eternal Night Scepter.”

Gray Sin was stunned for a moment before shock covers her face.

“I thought you said the Eternal Night Scepter definitely doesn’t exist? I thought those famous works of yours were just used to scare others?”

“Yes, going by my judgement at the time, the Emperor was most likely treating it as a joke. In fact, a joke in bad humor. Those things I wrote was just to make those ambitious factions that had intended to enthrone themselves spend their efforts to look for a wooden scepter that could never be found.”

Lionheart raised his head and his sword-shaped eyebrows twisted together and his expression could be described to be flavorful, there ware happiness, anger, reminiscence and uneasiness…

“Yesterday, I received two news regarding the underground world. One of them was regarding the Eternal Night Scepter… But, I recommend that you take a look at the other one first.”

Gray Sin snatched it over, but…

“Didn’t you say that it was some important intelligence… but isn’t this merely a tourism brochure? Lionheart, did you intend to go on a holiday? And inviting me too? I’m sorry, you are a good man, but other than the Emperor, I am not interested in any other Undead.”

Already used to his unreliable comrades antiques, but compared to the other 2 of the Heavenly Kings, the Bone Dragon Queen which tended to overthink things was much easier to deal with. He solemnly accepted the good man card and stated plainly.

“Please look at it more carefully.”

“‘The Death Royale Undead Theme Park and Ghost Festival Tourism Week! Enjoy a tour full of surprises filled with darkness and death. There will be 30 free entrance tickets to give away before we open for business…’ What IS this?! Is this some kind of lame plan that an idiot came up with? BORING!!! I may be interested in a War Theme Park though. But Undead Theme Park and Ghost Festival, don’t we have that every day here?”

“Please look at it even more carefully.”

“Sulfur Mountain City? Oh, Adam Han finally went mad? That IS something to celebrate about!!”

“Please look at it even MORE carefully…” Even the patient Lionheart was starting to lose it, with the Bone Dragon Queen’s eccentric and scattered thoughts. Helplessness and pleading were infused into his tone.

Looking at the steeled face of her little brother, Gray Sin finally decided to get serious. When she flipped to the second page, she was stunned.

That was a very vivid advertisement picture. On it, many different Undead were wearing weird clothes while walking the streets. Some were banging the gong and hitting the drums, some were singing and dancing but with just this, how could Gray Sin be startled?

Right now, she could only open her mouth wide, pointing towards a corner of the picture, her image as an Undead Lords completely went down the gutter.

Dressed in many different colors with peacock feathers poking into him, the Skeleton Dog was trying his best to use his lower limb to handstand. Below him, there was a green colored ball. It was a game of a cute pet pushing the ball.

However, its balancing techniques didn’t seem to be outstanding, just a careless mistake and he would fall… and the artist managed to capture the silliness in the instant he fell.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… IT IS BOSS! Bastian, the fierce and strong leader of the Four Heavenly Kings, the Demonic Space Hellhound Bastian!!”

Lionheart had already covered his ears in advance but nevertheless, he was rattled to the bones by the Bone Dragon Queen’s siren-like scream. This ancient Bone Dragon Queen’s voice was long reputed to be the Throat of Death… “Seriously amazing dissonance. I give you full authority to beat her up the moment she starts to prepare to sing — by a certain Undead Emperor”

In this instant, Lionheart could also understand the shriek of death coming from the other party. Back then, when he first looked at this painting, his initial reaction wasn’t much better either.

‘Demonic Space Hellhound Bastian’, ‘Captain of the Red Hunting Hounds’ (=the Royal Guards of Emperor Yongye), ‘Vice-commander of the entire Yongye Army’, ‘the secret leader of the Four Heavenly Kings’, there were a bunch of these kind of titles but what was known was that he was the strongest Undead Lord. He had destroyed countless armies and kingdoms by himself and only wreckage was left on the land he passed through. He was the most trusted and relied on general by Emperor Yongye.

His subordinates and he should have been killed in that war but his sudden appearance, and furthermore with such a cute look, naturally scared Gray Sin badly.

“It can’t be wrong. That weird bend of the tail, the scars on the brain and more importantly, the eerie sight of having 2 left legs in the front and 2 right legs at the back, it’s impossible for any other skeleton dog to look like that.”

“Yes, other than Lord Bastian, I can’t think of anyone else who would take out their four limbs when they sleep and reattach them randomly after waking up. Front leg, back leg, left leg, right leg, he reassembles it as he pleases and then when he starts walking, his four limbs move freely, causing him to instantly walk in circles…”

The sudden appearance of the secret leader of the Four Heavenly Kings who should have been dead and the significance of what it meant made Gray Sin feel happiness, yet at the same time, she felt a little unconfident.

“Could it be that the artist drew it randomly…”

“No! Look at the back.”

Turning to the next page, there was a Skeleton General who had 18 arms. Right now, what was on his arms weren’t swords with fresh blood but wooden poles with spinning plates on them.

There was even an explanation below ‘The Jack-of-all-trades Defay will show you tricks that defy human limits, spinning 18 plates at once!”

Squinting her eyes, Gray Sin stared for a long time… but unfortunately didn’t get it.

“I don’t think that there is anything there. Only a fellow that knows how to spin plates.”

“When Skeleton Generals go up in rank, they can choose to grow another pair of arm to wield more weapons, but the soul has its limits. Being overly focused on too many weapons will only hurt oneself. A normal Skeleton General is able to control 4 weapons at once, top-class weapon experts can wield 8 at once and Undead Lord-class can wield 12. However there was that one person who could wield 16 instead, the subordinate of Lord Bastian, the Head Instructor of the Red Hunting Hounds, Great Sword Saint Fayde. Looks like he has improved.”

“Defay? Fayde? There is totally no effort put in those fake names!”

“There’s also this person.”

He pointed at a Dullahan using his own head to play Polo… Note below ‘An exciting race that you have never seen before.’

“Camisia that dumbass!! That stupid bald old man! That cross-eyed idiot, I could recognize him even if he turned to ashes.”

“Yes, the person with the strength of a Titan, his terrifying charge of courage, the Vice-captain of the Red Hunting Hounds, Lord Camisia. Also, there is this person…”

It was a Lich with her hands rubbed together. In this instant, her face was full of smiles and she was carrying a bag of green-colored liquid… Note below ‘You have definitely never drunk such delicious drinks before. Created especially for you by Master Alchemist Feyfey, the favorite of those who like to exercise.’

“That insignia of Alchemy and that queer hat… The Mistress of Plagues Kaka. Even Undead no longer dare to drink the medicine she makes. Those living, puu, after drinking it, they will definitely be strengthened but I hope that they can still remember what they looked like before, so that they can try to revert back into their original appearance.”

“There’s more. Look here, here and here.”

“The legendary Bone Dragon who serves as a ride, a female Viper who dances belly dance and a great Witch who does divination… I roughly get it.”

“Yes, my spy disguised as tourist had gone there to play for a while and even received a commemoration badge indicating that he was the 9th tourist. Looks like their business isn’t doing well. Un, he has confirmed that the people in the picture are all real, that is to say…”

Gray Sin stood up, her eerie eyes full of happiness.

“That is to say that our Emperor is still alive! Yes, only our Emperor could make these top warriors dress in such a look and only our Emperor could make our leader obediently play with his ball!!”

“Un, this is only a primary conjecture. Back then, there were many things amiss with that incident. Why did the Royal Guards, the Red Hunting Hounds suddenly leave behind our Emperor and head to a land a thousand miles away? Why did the armies of the other 3 Heavenly Kings suddenly get deployed to the sidelines far away from the core of the battle, allowing them to escape the brunt of the internal conflict? … Maybe, the underground world will bring us some answers.”

What should have been originally breaking news about the appearance of Lord Yongye’s Staff, in the eyes of these two, due to the small tourist brochure, had become unimportant.

“I must go to the underground world, Now! Hmph, damned Decars, he was brought up bit by bit from a weak Ghoul by the Emperor. Back then, you were the one who spoke up the loudest crying for revenge, so we thought that you were the most loyal of us all. In the end, you managed to hold on for a hundred years but still betrayed us in the end. When our Emperor and leader is back, look at how they will deal with you!!!”

After hesitating for a moment, Lionheart spoke softly.

“Actually, Lord Decars’s betrayal is suspicious as well. 10 years ago, when we received news about Adam Han’s whereabouts, but the proposal to exact revenge was denied and even we didn’t support him to do as he pleased… didn’t he go down to Sulfur Mountain City by himself to look for Adam for revenge? We thought that he wouldn’t return…”

“Yes, no one had thought that not only would he return, but he even happily organized a few fighting tournaments. Just when we were happy thinking he had changed his mind, he… “

“In a turn of the eye, he abandoned us for the Council Faction… Maybe, this should have been the most suspicious point of all. The Emperor had praised Decars as one of his most loyal dog many times. This may seem like an insult but you also know, our Emperor has an exceptional affection towards dogs so Decars had always treated this title as the highest honor and the Emperor’s exclusive nickname for him.”

“Yeah, back then he wanted to use ‘Night of Dog Packs’ that weird name to replace the name of the armys ‘Night of Winter Wolves’, it was fortunate that you managed to stop it. But, it was a pity that the Royal Guards still went with the name ‘Red Hunting Hounds’… ‘Pink Queen Army’ obviously sounds much better.”

“Cough.” A light cough eventually became an internal slander.

‘Your taste in names is as eccentric as the Emperor’s, and in addition to your Throat of Death, that was the reason why the Emperor chose Lord Bastian and not you as the Head of Royal Guards to accompany him around.’

Of course, he would never say these words out loud.

“I believe in our Emperor’s judgement. Since he believed in Decars to such an extent, then Decars should be worthy of our trust as well… Or maybe, Lord Decars had met someone in the underground world, or someone gave him certain instructions…”

Speaking these words, the gaze of the two people immediately shot towards the tourism brochure on the table.

“I’m heading out now.”

“I am unable to leave Xiluo so I can only depend on you. The underground world will definitely be chaotic. If even we ‘ignorant militarists’ (a slander for their Faction) can find news about the Eternal Night Scepter, the fellows who have been looking for it for a century will undoubtedly go all out for it. Lord Gray Sin, please prioritize looking for that person. Unless I’m wrong, that scepter is more than likely a trap laid by that person!”

Gray Sin wasn’t a person who didn’t listen to advice. That little brother of hers, despite not being one of the Four Heavenly Kings initially, but just based on his loyalty towards the Emperor and his wisdom, he managed to climb up step by step to the core of the Royalty faction. His suggestions tended to be useful to an old fellow like herself, so she naturally tried to respect them.

“Right, please bring along Lord Ah Dang. If I didn’t guess wrongly, since the person is causing a storm right now, he should be looking forward to reuniting with Lord Ah Dang.”

“Are you sure? Fine, I get it, I will brought it along.”

The Carnivore Ah Dang, the final head of the Royalty faction, the 12th Senator. In reality, it was a Giant Abomination. It didn’t have high intelligence but if you were to look at individual battle prowess, there probably wasn’t a single undead in Xiluo that would dare to challenge this ‘dull-witted kid unworthy of being an Undead Lord and Senator’.

Ah Dang didn’t have a high intelligence but after the departure of the Emperor, he listened obediently to the words of his big brothers and big sisters. As long as Gray Sin asked for it, he would even tear apart the Council’s building and bash those Lich Councilors who slandered the Emperor.

Looking at the leaving figure of Gray Sin, Lionheart stood up and looked at the sight of prosperity outside the window, he fell into deep thoughts.

This had been the teaching of the Emperor…

“Small Lionheart, just being able to fight isn’t cute. A fighter won’t last long and someone who only knows how to charge straight will be treated like a fool. It’s best you study more and get a proper job. Right, do you like history? I have always thought that reading history will make one more intelligent. If you have the time, study more history books.”

Remembering that pair of big warm hands (After being beautified in his memories), the gentle, knowledgeable and caring voice (Also being beautified), the Emperor’s servant ‘Small Lionheart’ had now risen to be known as the ‘Keeper of History’ Lionheart and after trying to study history to better understand the present, he used both his eyes to see through the boundaries of time.

“You were always worrying while reading those history books, as though those disastrous catastrophes that destroyed eons and worlds might reappear once more and those weird prediction notebooks that even I was unable to understand? God of Order? God of Death Ayer? Chain reaction? Butterfly effect? Emperor, just what were you looking at, just what made you despair and give up everything to start from scratch… Who?!?! Come out!!!”

After a roar, a familiar laughing face appeared outside the door. It was Gray Sin who went and returned.

“Little brother Lionheart, it’s better to lower down your volume when you talk to yourself. Otherwise, if it were to spreads out, other people would treat you like a lunatic.”

“You heard it…”

“No, no, I only came back to inform you of something, I heard nothing at all.”

Facing this Bone Dragon Queen who was trying her best to act ignorant, Lionheart laughed, albeit a little irritated. Ah Dang and her were his most trusted people in this dangerous country.

“Inform me of what?”

“Don’t call me Gray Sin in the future, address me as Gria. Don’t call it wrongly.”

Hearing this, Lionheart felt a little baffled.

“Why? You have been called Gray Sin for the past thousand years so why change your name suddenly? It can’t be that you had listened to those fortune tellers in alleys, they are con-artists who are unskilled, you know.”

“No, no, it was just that some trouble came up and I had to change my name?”

“Inconceivable! Who could make a first-tier Duchess Senator of the Empire change her name?”

“Before that, didn’t the Elders try to reorganize the nobility system and their inheritors of the whole country? Suddenly, they realized that my name was unable to appear inside the magic website, so it couldn’t be printed. Thus, they recommended that I change my name.”

“Unable to appear? Why?”

“It was that Lei Si that caused the problem. It is said that in a faraway mountainous area, Lei.Si is another way to call women who have a unique sexual orientation. Didn’t we undergo a system update and the magical website, for the sake of the creation of society, started to block out these banned words so now, that magical website instantly changes all banned words in XX.”

“So, if you insist on calling me Ge Lei.Si, in the future, my nameplate will show Empire First-Tier Duchess, The 4th Senator Ge XX… Isn’t that too embarrassing? So I had no choice but to change my name to Gria, so don’t call it wrongly.”

“Can there be an even more ridiculous reason for your change? For a Senator of the Empire, you changed your name for such a ridiculous reason? Don’t you hear your pride and dignity crying?”

“Alright, I heard that the main reason was that some will of the universe couldn’t be bothered to put a dot in the middle of my name, so my name had to change…”

1. Meaning black sclera, white iris
2. Google ‘wow abomination’ to have an idea, of what it may look like.
3. So this is all basically an in novel explanation of why the novel changed her name to Gria. It also makes a joke about the author, who as I understand, later switched the site he used, named his characters with dots e.g. Annie.Layde. In the reedits, we have removed them, since they serve no real purpose.